


A Different Kind of Love

by Code_The_Poet



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Aromantic Kitagawa Yusuke, Asexual Character, Asexual Kitagawa Yusuke, Friendship, Gen, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:15:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24271942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Code_The_Poet/pseuds/Code_The_Poet
Summary: Valentine's Day is Yusuke's least favourite day of the year, and he usually prefers to spend it alone. His friends have other ideas.
Relationships: Amamiya Ren & Kitagawa Yusuke, Kitagawa Yusuke & Persona 5 Protagonist, Kitagawa Yusuke & Sakura Futaba
Comments: 2
Kudos: 67





	A Different Kind of Love

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place on 2/14 in the game. The scene that happens with Ryuji when you're not dating anyone left me wanting something more and this is what came out of that.

Valentine’s Day.

The day that was supposed to symbolize the deepest desire of the human heart, the desire to connect romantically with another person.

The day that shops and advertisements milked for weeks in advance in order to extract as much money from the pockets of the ignorant masses as possible.

And the day on which Yusuke wanted nothing more than to be alone.

Most days he wasn’t so burdened by the expectations of society, even preferring to be labelled as the “freak” who was too obsessed with his brushes and canvas to take interest in romantic opportunities. It was a common trope, after all, the lone artist who scorned worldly desires in their pursuit of the true meaning of art. He took pleasure—no, _revelled_ —in seeing the bewilderment of those who couldn’t fathom an existence free from the chains of the all-encompassing force of love.

But Valentine’s Day was the exception.

He wasn’t sure if it was the incessant reminders leading up to it (why did even _ramen cups_ have special Valentine’s Day packaging?) or the endless social media notifications on the day itself, each _ping_ a stark reminder that he would never know the happiness found in consuming below-average chocolate and garish cards (clearly created by someone with an utter disregard for the principles of design). Or, as he liked to think, perhaps the same jubilant folly that seemed to consume everyone else on this day had the opposite effect on untainted individuals such as himself.

Whatever the reason, every year found him in the same depressed state, cowering in his room with a box of the cheapest non-Valentine’s chocolates from the convenience store and a B movie in an attempt to block out the self-hatred. For it was on Valentine’s Day that all the words that normally bolstered his spirits and renewed his faith in his chosen path came back to haunt him.

“You mean that loner who paints and never talks to anyone?”

“Forever alone Yusuke.”

“Oh, you mean that _freak_.”

Yusuke gritted his teeth and reached to turn up the volume on his phone (on which he was watching the movie due to his dorm room’s lack of TV), attempting to drown out the voices in his head. The brief moment of reprieve didn’t last long as the credits begin to roll for the third—or was it the fourth?—time. He considered starting the movie yet again, but at that moment his phone decided to disconnect from the pathetically slow dorm Wi-Fi and the thought of waiting for the video to buffer again made him tear his earbuds from his ear and slam his phone onto the bedside table with more force than necessary. He lay in the ensuing silence for a moment, his ears ringing, before deciding he couldn’t stand the sweaty mess that was his bedcovers any longer and pulled himself to his feet.

Staggering into the attached bathroom, Yusuke initially planned to rinse out his sticky, chocolate-coated mouth with a glass of water. The water spewing out of the faucet was too appealing, however, and he ended up plunging his entire head into the ice-cold stream. His long, blue bangs flopped into his eyes and he angrily shook them back, a sudden surge of emotion threatening to overwhelm him. How dare they mock his lifestyle, the fools who knew nothing of the trials he’d faced to get this far, he thought savagely, gripping the edge of the counter so hard that his knuckles turned white. Then he caught a glimpse of his wild expression in the mirror and was reminded of the boy who had let the world get the best of him, and his anger faded quicker than the air from a punctured balloon.

Yusuke sat down on the bathroom floor with his back to the vanity. The cold water trickling down his shirt, no longer refreshing, made him shiver. For the first time, he recognized the twisted emotion within him as something other than passion. It was loneliness.

But that couldn’t be right. How could he, Yusuke Kitagawa, the artist with no need for human companionship so long as his paints and canvas were at hand, be _lonely_? Loneliness was an emotion reserved for the weak at heart, those who searched for external validation to free themselves from the impurities in their soul. Sixteen years’ worth of Valentine’s Days had come and gone, and he had never felt this way before. Why should his seventeenth Valentine’s Day be any different from those past?

It was his first Valentine’s Day free from the clutches of his former mentor, so there was a possibility that had something to do with it. Or perhaps it was because he had journeyed to the bottom of Mementos and seen the true nature of the human heart. That had to be it, he reasoned, and the thought cheered him up enough to reach for the towel and dry his still-dripping hair. But when he returned to his room and saw the blinking light of unread notifications on his phone (no doubt boastful texts from those who were enjoying the day), his heart sunk even further than it had before.

The truth was, Yusuke had been hopeful that this year would be different. Not because he had finally escaped the influence of his former mentor, and not because he had seen the truth of the human heart at the bottom of Mementos. He had hoped that his friends—at least _one_ of them—would take pity on him and offer to spend this lonely day with him. Not out of any romantic interest, as the very thought of someone being romantically interested in him made him recoil in disgust, but out of pure and simple friendship. Instead, all he’d gotten was a mocking phone call from Ryuji asking if he’d gotten any chocolates (which he hadn’t really _lied_ about, considering he had the box of convenience store chocolates he’d purchased with the last of his spending money for the week). Not even Futaba had called and demanded that he watch the newest “Phoenix Ranger Featherman R” movie with her, and he didn’t want to consider the implication that even the former shut-in had somewhere better to be on Valentine’s Day than he did.

Another _ping_ from his phone interrupted his melodramatic self-pity, and Yusuke glared at his phone in annoyance. He reached for it, intending to switch it to silent so that he could return to moping in peace, but the latest string of texts caught his eye.

**-Hey, you around?**

**-Yusuke, is everything okay?**

The texts proceeded from casual to frantic, ending in a single text from Futaba:

**-Open up the door Inari, we’re waiting!**

Cautiously, Yusuke approached the door to his room and cracked it open to peer into the dorm hallway.

“Move it, Inari!” yelled Futaba over an armful of snack packages, all of which were surprisingly devoid of pink packaging given the season. “I’ve been holding these forever waiting for you to open this door!”

She barged past him and dumped the snacks onto the small table where he sometimes sketched out his ideas, scattering charcoal pencils and loose paint containers.

Too shocked to speak, Yusuke turned back to the hallway to see Ren sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. “I was going to come alone since I figured you’d want peace and quiet, but she insisted.”

“Wh—what are you doing here?” asked Yusuke, finally finding his voice.

Ren shrugged. “Isn’t it obvious?” he replied, holding up a bag of takeout containers stamped with the Leblanc logo. “We’re here to cheer you up.”

“Cheer me up?” repeated Yusuke, still dazed.

“Exactly,” said Ren. “Aren’t you going to invite us in?”

With a deep breath, Yusuke managed to regain his composure. “Of course,” he said with a dramatic bow. “Would you like to enter my humble abode?”

The leftover Leblanc curry had travelled surprisingly well, or perhaps Yusuke had been eating too much of the tasteless slop from the school cafeteria, but regardless of the reason it tasted like heaven. Futaba chattered about the latest episode of “Phoenix Ranger Featherman R” and her most recent video game obsession, filling up the need for any meaningful conversation, and Yusuke was content just to listen while he ate.

Then the curry was gone, and Futaba flopped onto Yusuke’s bed with a contented sigh, scattering foil chocolate wrappers everywhere. “I’m tired, Ren, so why don’t you talk to Inari about the thing you wanted to talk to him about?”

Yusuke was instantly on his guard. “What is the meaning of this, Ren?” he demanded.

Ren looked a little embarrassed. “I was hoping to be a little more subtle about it, but I did want to ask you something.”

Yusuke smirked in understanding, or so he thought. “You wish to ask me about my art, is it? It’s going well, thank you, I’ve been rather inspired lately.”

“No, Yusuke.” Ren’s voice was gentle. “I wanted to ask about _you_. Is everything alright?”

“Quite alright,” Yusuke lied, suddenly focused on scraping an imaginary last bit of curry from the empty takeout box in his lap. “As I said, I’ve been feeling rather inspired—”

“Let me be more specific,” interrupted Ren. “Why did you lie to Ryuji about your Valentine’s Day plans?”

“Oh, _that_.” Yusuke scowled. “Why should it matter if I wish to spend a peaceful Valentine’s Day alone in contemplation?”

“You mean alone watching the same bad movie on repeat?” demanded Futaba, her post-meal sleepiness apparently forgotten. “It had a _twelve percent_ on Rotten Tomatoes, Inari.”

“Well—wait a minute, how did you know what I was watching?”

Futaba rolled her eyes. “Come on, it’s not that hard to hack a phone. You should be _thanking_ me for cutting off your Wi-Fi after the fourth time.”

“That was _you_!?” exclaimed Yusuke in disbelief.

She grinned. “Duh, who else? You really are oblivious, Inari.”

Ren spoke up, a warning note in his voice. “Futaba, remember what I said.”

“That we’re here to cheer him up and I shouldn’t make fun of him for once?”

“Well, yeah.” Ren agreed sheepishly, and turned back to Yusuke. “What I’ve been trying to say is this: is there anything you want to talk about?”

Yusuke stared back down at the empty takeout container, his emotions from earlier threatening to overwhelm him, and was shocked to see tears falling onto the stained Styrofoam lid.

“Yusuke…”

He looked up to see Ren in front of him, holding out a tissue.

“Thanks,” he managed in a shaky voice. “I—”

“Inari, catch!” interrupted Futaba from behind him and a light plastic package hit him in the arm. “They’re your favourite potato sticks and we had to go to two stores to find the ones without the dumb pink Valentine’s packaging so you’d better appreciate them!”

“Futaba—” sighed Ren, but Yusuke spoke up.

“It’s fine, Ren, I’ll talk. Just let me catch my breath, okay?”

“Of course,” said Ren, and the two of them waited patiently for Yusuke to wipe his eyes and tear open the package of potato sticks.

“I’m not sure what it is about Valentine’s Day that gets to me, but I can’t stand it,” he began, his voice still a bit shaky. “I tell myself it’s the awful chocolate, or the absolutely _hideous_ cards, but I think it’s deeper than that.” He took a deep breath, preparing to say the thing he had never told anyone in his life. “I—I don’t think I’m capable of love, Ren. All those things everyone says, about my narrow-minded focus on art and the unlikelihood that I’ll ever see anyone as more than a subject for painting… it’s all _true_ , Ren. I’ve never looked at anyone and felt _anything_!”

“Wait, are you saying…” Futaba paused, perhaps pondering if she could get away with what she was about to say without another warning from Ren. “That you’re an undatable NPC?”

“I believe the word is aromantic, Futaba,” corrected Ren patiently.

Yusuke looked up in shock. “There’s a word for it?”

“Oh you didn’t know?” asked Ren, equally surprised. “I’m sorry, I just assumed.”

“Then I…” Yusuke stared at his hands in wonder, as if he were seeing them for the first time. “I’m not broken? And I really am incapable of feeling love?”

“Right on the first one,” said Ren. “However, I wouldn’t be so sure about the second. Friendship is a form of love too, you know.”

“It is?” Yusuke had never thought about it, but he supposed it was true. The warm feeling he got when he thought of his friends, was that the same as the love that united two people on Valentine’s Day?

Ren seemed to read his mind. “It’s not the same as romantic love, but that doesn’t make it any less strong. It’s just a different kind of love.”

“A different kind of love,” repeated Yusuke, and suddenly he laughed. As he did, he could feel all of the negative emotions that had built up throughout the day leave his body, replaced by a joy more powerful than any he’d ever felt. Unable to control himself, he continued to laugh.

“Now you’ve broken Inari, Ren!” Futaba accused. “Who am I going to torture now?”

“To think—that I thought—I was broken—for so long,” Yusuke gasped in between the laughter.

“We’re all different in some way, Yusuke,” said Ren with a comforting smile. “But that doesn’t mean we’re broken. You of all people should know that.”

Futaba scoffed. “With _his_ wisdom stat? He’s lucky he knows which way to turn to get to the subway.”

“Futaba.” Ren’s voice sounded strained. “Remember, you have to be gentle with him.”

“Hey, I can hear you,” protested Yusuke, but he smiled and bowed his head all the same. “Ren, Futaba… I must thank you. I admit that I let the expectations of society go to my head.”

“What doesn’t go to your head?” retorted Futaba, but at a glare from Ren she coughed. “Right. Inari, we care about you. Obviously Ren and I do, or we wouldn’t be here, but the others do too. They just aren’t as considerate of others as Ren is.”

“Well…” Ren looked embarrassed again. “I guess that might be true of some of them. Just know we’re here for you, okay? Don’t be afraid to reach out if you need anything.”

“I won’t,” promised Yusuke, and for the first time he meant it.

“Hey Ren, you promised we could play Star Munchkin if I said something nice to Inari!” interrupted Futaba, jumping off the bed and reaching for Ren’s bag. “Gimme it, I want to play.”

“For the last time, Futaba,” Ren said, holding his bag out of her reach. “I said it was Yusuke’s choice if he wants to play Star Munchkin with you or not.”

“What is this ‘Star Munchkin’?” asked Yusuke curiously.

“See Ren, he wants to play!” cried Futaba. “Give it here!”

Ren shot him a look, and Yusuke shrugged his shoulders in defeat. “It doesn’t look like I have much of a choice, does it?”

“See, I _told_ you so Ren! Now you have to play with us too because we need three players!”

“Oh, fine,” relented Ren. “But he’s never played it before, you’ll have to explain it to him.”

Futaba launched into a confusing explanation of the rules of the game, many of which seemed to contradict each other, and Yusuke finally felt at peace. Two of his best friends in the world had gone out of their way to cheer him up on his least favourite day of the year, and he was so touched he wondered for a moment if he would cry again.

“Hey Inari, are you listening!? You won’t be able to figure out these rules with that wisdom stat of yours!”

For the second time that day, Yusuke laughed. Of all his Valentine’s Day experiences, this would certainly be one to remember.


End file.
